How do I see my coaching style?

November 1, 2018

Recently I was again thinking about my own style of coaching – or, more broadly: working with people. It’s quite informal.  Warm and friendly. And flexible.

I used to try more distant, professionally-looking approach when I was working on hotline for Niebieska Linia, but it wasn’t me. I felt like my helping powers were limited. But that time, in 2013, I was also a co-leader of a support group for transgender people in Lambda Warsaw and we were meeting in the organization’s kitchen. Behind our table there were: a sink, a microwave, a kettle. Everybody could just stand up and make themself a cup of tea. Sometimes we also had cookies. I loved it.

These experiences, as well as sharing with my friends what I just has learnt, taught me who I am and what is my style.

That is why when, very soon, I will really start my coaching practice, I organize my cabinet at home, in my own living room. Two cozy yet modern armchairs, a coffee table (for something to drink but also for a laptop – some tools I have online in Evernote cloud), a desk with printer, two bookcases full of knowledge ready to be shared… and, if you want, your favorite music to make you feel more comfortable. And some sheets of white paper – instead of flipchart. I find drawing and making notes very useful.

I am reading now a Polish book “Coaching Drogi” and it says a lot about life coaching – but with all these tenets like “ask questions only”. And I am not convinced about it. In “The Art of Sex Coaching” I read a lot about being an unique artist, using all the knowledge and tools you have to create an unique action plan for each customer. Of course sex coaching and life coaching are different fields, but I think I already have something like my style and it is more like a collage of classic coaching, mentoring and psychological & sexological counselling.

I also noticed that some of coaches I follow don’t do classic coaching only, too. I am a huge fan of Kamila Rowińska and I also like to watch Michał Wawrzyniak. They are very different of course, but they use similar tools: Facebook lives and groups, Youtube, blogs, books, online courses, live workshops for hundreds of people… They inspire thousands, share they expertise, talk about personal experiences. Is this still coaching? Debatable. But what they do is exactly what Dr. Patti Britton encourage her trainees to do in their practices. So?

I admire people who follow the tenets of classic coaching and do not mix practices. I think being faithful to one way is very difficult. But even on psychological studies I was always into being eclectic – every current has something to offer, something that may be the best in this situation.

Some links:

PS. Today Sex Coach U opened itself for new students. I am very excited… about others. This autumn I still cannot afford the training. But I found another course to stay active and be able to open my practice as soon, as I planned. After all, I has already graduated many, many courses – I just need to learn how to coach people.

PS2. I keep reading the book “Coaching Drogi”. Droga has a meaning of ‘road, path, track, way’. It is also the acronym of a coaching model similar to famous GROW.

D – Dokąd = Where do you want to go, what’s your goal?
R – Rzeczywistość = Reality of yours
O – Opcje = Options you have
G – GO = Go and do it
A – Analiza – Analyze what did you learn and what to do next

Very interesting! I like the idea of the journey. Journey of the hero/ine, like in Stardust or Tolkien’s novels.

Warsaw, PL

Hi everyone, my name is Noemi and I am a future Certified Sex Coach. Soon I am going to start my training. Till now, I did many sex-positive courses, mostly in Sex Coach U and in Sex Positive Institute but I also have to mention Karo Akabal's Sex & Love School for women. I also have studied psychology, however I didn't finish my Master's thesis. In this blog I will post about my journey towards being a sex coach and share my knowledge with you. Hope you'll enjoy it!